I’m super late to this party, but I never watched the Sopranos the first time around. Luckily for me, the pandemic allowed for some serious binging and my husband got me to watch the whole show. While a mob show is not usually my cup of tea (I’m more of a Downton Abbey, The Crown sort of a girl–give me an accent and a fancy frock and I’m there), but I was enthralled with Tony and his violent band of psychopathic misfits.
The show is truly operatic–big scenes, big drama, big hair. Anyway, in honor of the release of the prequel Many Saints of Newark (which I haven’t yet watched so no spoilers!) here’s what the Sopranos can teach us about fundraising.
It’s about emotion: It might be the venture capital/finance world’s influence on fundraising, but as fundraisers we need to both accept and lean into the fact that emotion drives philanthropic gifts. Data is used afterward as a justification for what the heart has already decided. Likewise, Tony is known to fly off the handle and to act impulsively against reason. In the end, we’re all just slaves to the beating muscle within us.
It’s about relationships: The Sopranos is all about who’s in, who’s out, who’s family and who’s not. The complexity of relationships, connections, revenge, love and obligation tie this show together. As in the Sopranos, your ability to function and to get things done is all about who presents you, who vouches for you and how you act once you get in the door. Tony will not suffer fools and neither will your donors. Remember that an introduction and a relationship are gifts and should be treated as such. When you start to take your donors for granted, don’t be surprised if you’re left out in the cold (or sleeping with the fishes).
It’s about legacy: Tony’s family business is less than savory, but he pins his hopes on his daughter Meadow who goes to Columbia and might be a lawyer. Tony is driven by the memory of his father, his quest for power and for his children to be legitimately successful. In the end, all that we really want is for our time on this planet to have mattered and to leave something valuable behind. For Tony, death is at hand more viscerally than for most people.
When we are fundraising, we have to remember that our donors too wish for some change in the world and for their time on this planet to have meant something. As fundraisers, we can offer our donors that opportunity by knowing what they care about.
It’s about the money: Money should not be at the center of a relationship with a donor–it’s about the work. But, it’s also important to remember that money makes the work possible. Take a page out of the Tony Soprano playbook: Tony always has his eye on his bag and woe to the poor sap who stands in the way of his payday. Likewise, as fundraisers, we should always be strategic about maximizing our return. Sometimes, it can be tempting to spend our time doing things for which the return on investment is unclear (social media updates, anyone?), but in a world of constrained time and resources, go for the highest value activity (call your donors). Like Tony, we need to think about the highest ROI with the lowest amount of effort for the greatest efficiency.
Thoughts? Feedback? Want to talk Sopranos? Email me!
