One of my most cherished (almost) daily rituals is listening to podcasts while swimming laps.
Recently, I listened to an incredible interview with one of my favorite authors, Anne Lamott on the Tim Ferriss Show, and it’s still rattling around my brain.
Of the many things she said, the one that I’ve been thinking about most is, “Help is the sunny side of control.”
I was dumbstruck. Man, she really got my number.
As a Type-A/bossy oldest sister/Executive Director, I have always believed that I’m predisposed to helping people. And by “helping” I mean telling people what I think they should do.
As I like to say, “I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong!”
One of the greatest challenges of my life is to limit my feelings of responsibility for other people’s outcomes. While I think it’s “being helpful,” it can also be “none of my damn business.”
I’m really convinced that most people’s lives would be better if they just saved more money/broke up with their toxic boyfriend/worked out/drank more water/stood up straight/stood up for themselves/went to therapy/went paleo/got acupuncture/flossed/moisturized/read more books/got a pet/got vaccinated etc.
After all, I’m just being helpful.
But, to quote another sage of our times, Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, “I don’t remember asking you a goddamn thing.”
I offer this up to you, gentle reader. Are you showing up in a glittery outfit labeled as Helpful when underneath you’re wearing Control underwear?
What aggravations and irritations are you causing yourself as a result?
