Stop the DJ

I recently did a training for a group and I didn’t hit it out of the park the way that I had wanted to. I heard the critical feedback and my inner troll DJ started up the Shame Playlist in my head.

The familiar hits started to play:

I should have done XYZ. They should have done ABC. I’m a failure, a fraud. Everybody hates me. Nobody will ever hire me again. They think my presentation is stupid. They think I’M stupid.

And on and on and on.

How many of us play the same mix when something doesn’t go our way or we don’t get the result we want?

Let’s stop letting the DJ Troll control the playlist.

How?

I’m practicing being unattached to the outcome.

Because, really, none of it is up to us.

You can create the most thoughtful presentation and somebody might not like it.

You can construct the most beautiful, comprehensive proposal and still get rejected.

You can make the most passionate, emotional ask and still get a no.

And none of it has anything to do with you.

All we can do is show up, take our best shot and try again.

When I become emotionally unattached to the outcome then I don’t create stories about myself, my skills, my reputation.

I can press mute on the Shame Playlist because the outcome is not a referendum on my value. Instead, the outcome just becomes a data point.

What are your best strategies for interrupting DJ Troll?